“An apocalypse worth living for”
The community standards I would set for interacting with my website would reflect the overall satirical tone of my content, while still ticking off the basic things which I will not allow. I would format my guidelines similarly to those of BookRiots; short, simple, and […]
I can’t remember what my mother looked like. All recollections of her are opaque and untethered in my head, disingenuous and unreliable. I’m certain every memory of life with her before the End has been manipulated by scraps of old magazine advertisements I mentally morph […]
Not all of us can make a living off of fighting in the pits for food, if you’re like me, you spend precious daylight hours digging though the trash of humanity; evading rubble avalances as you climb through collapsed skyscrapers looking for anything you could […]
The obvious transpires first; this track starts off with cataclysm, with the apocalypse, with the end.
But what happens when the sun rises again the next day?
Sure society fragmented – but there’s still dating to be done and cool music to listen to, and maybe it is all inter-spliced with bouts of radiation poisoning and fighting a warring gang of Grift’s for a meal, but we cling to these every day shards of normality no matter how badly they cut us because despite every interpersonal transgression I’ve faced here in the apocalypse zone, the steady current of apathetic desolation and nothingness is running underneath everyone, ceaseless, and ready to sweep us all away if we don’t continuously build our lives upon it
The toxic sludge scones are decadent, the kneecap panini is sublime, all the other food corresponds to adjectives I’ve forgotten as a good fifth of my frontal lobe is still melted inside my skull, (ramifications of the nuclear blasts- chill out it’s not contagious) but Rat Teeth Restaurant true success comes from its location.
The swankiest spot in my neighborhood is situated perfectly inside the massive sinkhole near Nihilist park. The sinkhole was formed when a gas pipe ruptured underneath the street; providing an opportunistic moment for entrepreneurship, using the gas to heat the cavern and to cook the food. And let me tell you – I am SO ready to buy cooked food again.
There’s communal cement block tables, a fighting pit in the corner, and most notably a a retractable roof to protect you from Wednesday’s sulfuric showers. The roof is a thatch of old powerlines and live vines that get rolled back at night. A true innovation in Apoca-architecture.
The establishment is controlled by the Crafter Cult, who do charge Existence tax on all their hot beverages. Their signature move is grinding up rat teeth to use as flour, which was another brilliant move on their part. This in itself will provide great employment opportunities for anyone who wants to get ahead of the game collecting rat teeth.
I will be reviewing the restaurant in greater detail later – after I gather a bundle of mold aspergillus for Crafter bartering.
Yours till the next end,
The Accountants are unavoidable, yet ignorable enough that I continue my life without taking one of theirs every time I see them heading to ‘work.’ Toothless sneers, unseeing eyes and snide remarks belong to an extinct social standing; they were important before the apocalypse, while […]